The Goat Farmer

Yes, you read that correctly. I went out with this guy who has been asking for a couple years. I finally said yes and agreed to meet him at a convenient location downtown. We somehow became Facebook friends about four years ago. But we have no mutual friends or anything in our profiles that match. I'm not sure how he found me, but he did.

Every time he's asked I have politely declined the date. I'm not sure why I said yes this last time but I know I'll never say yes again. He asked me to meet him at a bar that is surrounded by a lot of restaurants. As I'm walking up to the bar, i'm dreading it already. We introduce ourselves and he immediately asks what I think about pizza and wine. There's a pizza place a few doors down, so that's where I assume we're going. To my surprise, he turns and walks into the bar we're standing in front of, and sits in a booth.

I follow him into the restaurant, assuming he wants a drink. To my surprise as soon as we sit down, he asks what I think about barbecue pizza. I look at him questioningly, as the server walks up. He orders wine and asked me if I want any, I did not. I needed to keep a clear head so I can get out of there. He starts talking about pizza again, and I ask they serve food here? He claimed it was the best food on Market Square. (Spoiler alert, it's not!)

He orders the pizza and asked for jalapenos on the side. The server tells him that he will have to pay for them and he asks how much? She said it would be between one and two dollars and he sat there for a couple of minutes thinking about if he wanted them. He finally decided to get them and I sat there wondering how long I had to stay without appearing too rude.

He kept talking about getting free food at tailgates and the opera and all of these other crazy things and finally I asked him what it was he did for a living. He said that he didn't work, he had retired already. He dodged the questions about from where he retired. I asked what he did now and that's when he said he was a goat farmer.

He ended up buying me a flower for the man walking around downtown selling them. I told him he didn't need to do that, but he insisted. Then he took my picture with it, here's hoping it didn't end up on social media! Then he asked to walk me to my car. I told him that was unnecessary. He insisted. On the way to the car, he was limping. I asked if he had parked in the same garage as me and he said no. This is where he asked me to go to the opera with him in February. Valentine's day to be exact.  (This was very early January) I said thank you, but I had other plans.

We rode the elevator up with an elderly couple in the garage. He said he lived in a different part of town and had not driven. He asked for a ride home! I had just met this guy, was completely uncomfortable and did not want him anywhere in my car!

Lesson learned? Don't go out with someone you've been blowing off for two years and you are not remotely attracted to, it will end badly.