Today's another day

Well, each day comes with a new perspective, right? It's been what seems like weeks since I have seen my Charming Suitor. He surprised me this morning by waking me up. CS has a key to come and go as he pleases and I love it when he surprises me.

It was really early this morning when he came by and he really only had about 15 or 20 that he could stay. He had to be at work early and once I finallu woke up, it meant the world to me that he came to see me.

I wanted hi, to crawl into bed with me, hold me and never let go, before I reslixed he only had a few minutes. We made the most of the time we had. Now it just makes me miss him even more. I really want this man to be completely mine. But, I know that isn't an option. I just hope I don't fall in love. He's already told me the consequences if that happens. There are two, and neither are good.

Talk to me soon jellybeans, xoxo

Am I worth it?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? You're human. Of course you have. Well, I'm asking myself that over and over lately. Parts of my life make me so sad that I just can't even imagine how I got here. Then, I realize, I'm here from my own free will. I've made my own choices and they all brought me to where I am today.

I have a wonderful, beautiful man in my life. When we are together, it is amazing. But, we are not exclusive. Or, he isn't. I knew this going in, but I just don't know if it is better than being alone. I'm so euphoric when we are together. But, there's a lot that I don't know about this man, and I probably never will. Now, I'm not talking trivial stuff, but things that a girl should know about her boyfriend.

I can't imagine my life without him, but, I know we will never be completely together. He will never open up to me.

As I write this, I know what I should do, but am I really that strong? Do I really deserve love and happiness? Talk to me, jellybeans.

xoxo

A new man...

Well marshmallows, guess what? I have a new man in my life. He is such an incredible, amazing man. He treats me better than anyone has in a very, very long time. If ever. 

He's so kind, generous, amazing, gorgeous and is such a great man in my life. I don't ever want to have him leave, but, as we both know, everybody leaves. 

For right now, I'm wallowing in bliss. I love when he surprises me. He loves to wake me up in the mornings. He works earlier than I do, so he sneaks into my house and wakes me up. Whether it is with sweet kisses, or clbing into bed to cuddle, I love it all. 

He is quite commanding. Who knew I liked being submissive? Not this girl! Well, talk to me soon. I hope your days are as glorious as mine have been lately. 

Hugs and love, xoxo...Mina 

The list of Craig

OSo, the list by Craig normally gets a bad wrap. I innocently answered an ad posted for a part time/freelance job. When I had pretty much forgotten about this post when he sent me a text asking if I were still interested in the position. 

We talked back and forth on text for a day, almost constantly, back and forth. It was a witty banter and this seemed like a really cool guy. 

The conversation steered toward a more intimate level and I stopped him right there and asked if that was what he was really wanting. He said no, he wasn't opposed to that type of arrangement, but it was honestly for the job. 

We kept talking and about 9 that night, we decided to meet the next morning. I got to see if I would be a good candidate for the job. This isn't a traditional office job, so, we met in a public place, a restaurant parking lot. We began to talk and the job never once came up. He truly was the man he had sent me pictures of, so there was some relief there! 

We did a bit of talking, and a bit of kissing, but no interviewing. So, back on the job hunt. But, who knows what may come of this fella. 

Talk to me soon! 

Just one by June?

I'm looking for just one date before my birthday with a man who is charming. One who makes me laugh. One who will open the door for me. One who will lot expect for me to go to bed with him the day we meet, or on the first date. I want a man who will treat me like a lady. Is that too much to ask? If you're out there, and reading this, call me! 

I'm still screwed up

I know you're shocked! I'm a middle aged woman who doesn't really know what she needs to do. I'm such a cliche. 

I have a few men I am interested in at the moment. They are all making my life a bit miserable. One lives in a different state. One is in some weird will they won't they situation with a woman who is married. The other is seemingly available, but it seems he may not be interested. A week or ten days will go by without hearing from him. Then, out of the blue, here he pops up with a text or phone call. Making me wonder if he possibly is still interested. And to top it all off, another one pops up and only wants a sexual relationship, because he is married. 

So, I have all these men coming at me from different directions. But then, I have to figure out what I want. Who I am. With all the things I've had to go through to get to this stage in my life, I just wonder what I need to do. 

I just want to have someone to be my person. Is that really too much to ask? 

New day, new beau

Well, I met a guy. We met online and texted for a bit before actually meeting in person. I fell in love with this man before ever laying eyes on him. I'm in well over my head. This fella is pretty great. It's been going on a few weeks now and I don't know what to do. He is such a creature of habit. He has certain places he likes to go and we don't venture to new places.

I'm excited to see where this goes. Talk soon!