Call me crazy, but I want to be in love. I want a man to hold my hand, to kiss me like he's never going to see me again. I want to have that all-consuming passion. I want someone to want me so bad, he won't have anyone else if he can't have me. In other words, I want someone who does not exist.
It is my birthday this weekend and I think upon reflection of where I've been in life, I'm not sure I've made the best decisions. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret any of the decisions I've made, because I regret nothing. Dwelling on something will get me nowhere, I'm on the wrong side of mid-life, so I am just pondering things at the moment.
For a VERY long time, I just assumed I would never get married, and I was ok with that. I didn't need a man to complete me. I still don't need a man to complete myself, but I want one. I've dated and had a few lovers over the years and they all hold a special place in my mind and heart. They always will, but it will be a small place.
I want someone who thinks of me and a smile passes his lips. If he has a fleeting thought and thinks it'll make me laugh or smile, for him to call or text me. I want to get random messages that say he has been thinking of me. Or just send one that says good morning. Is that really too much to ask? No one is busy ALL THE TIME!
I want someone who wants to crawl into bed just to snuggle. Hold my hand as we are sitting on the couch. Hug me just because he hasn't in a few hours. Put his arm around me and pull me close in bed so I am able to put my head on his chest.
In other words, I want someone to love who loves me back. Truly, madly and deeply loves me with reckless abandon. I will reciprocate, of that you need not worry. Feel free to reach out to me. I hope to find him soon. I'm not getting any younger and I want to spend as much time as possible with him.
Am I being unreasonable? Talk to me soon. xoxo