Ok, so my neighbors are quite annoying. I have a two bedroom condo and have lived here for years. It has been such a peaceful, quiet neighborhood. Until now. The street behind me is a set of two story townhouses. They are quite small compared to my condo and we all have patio's. The patio that is outside of my bedroom window, about 10 feet away, has three permanent residents. I have never met them, but from the sounds of them, one is a basset hound. I have no idea what the other two are, but I know they are dogs.
The people who live in this townhouse are completely deplorable animal owners. They never let their dogs come inside. So, I am left to suffer when I am in my bedroom. I am really not fans of these neighbors. I have no idea what their names are, but I have sent them very mean letters pretending to be from the homeowners association advising them that under no circumstances are they to leave their dogs outside after 6 p.m. Why 6 p.m., you ask? That's when I get off from work.
They have taken to ignoring the letters, so I am instituting the Canine Relocation Program. I have a discreet location that I am relocating them to, and it is under such great protection that even the NBC CIA Operative "Chuck" couldn't find it, because as USA Network says, it needs to be hidden "In Plain Sight."
So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, feel free to send me any and all submissions into the Canine Relocation Program. We are a non-profit start-up as well, so donations are accepted.