Control

I have an Aunt who had been beaten all her life. First by her father, then by her husband. I've felt sorry for her my entire life. When my dad was finally old enough to stand up to that man, he beat him and kicked him out of his own house. He never set foot in there again. 

I've always wondered why she stayed with her husband when she had a clear way out. My dad offered many times to get her away from that husband and put her away to where he would never find her. 

Now I am that woman, in a sense. I am no longer with the guy that hit me, but he still haunts me. The last week I have been getting calls from unknown or private numbers. I assumed it was AmEx or Madtercard wanting to know when they could expect my payment since I'm far behind. But, I got curious and answers a couple of them yesterday. 

No one spoke. I could hear breathing, but no one ever said anything. It was odd, but I didn't think anything about it. Then, today, I go to the gym, do my morning routine and I get another call. I didn't answer. 

My mom wanted to go to Dillard's today, and heaven forbid she drive herself down there. So, off to the mall we went. We were there maybe an hour and I saw him. I was paralyzed by fear. I just stood there. Praying that he didn't turn and look at me. I finally snapped out of it and ducked behind a rack and into the dressing room. I stayed in there at least 30 minutes. 

So, when I say I am now that woman, I mean that I'm a woman that lets a man control her. I don't want to be that woman. I don't want to be looking over my shoulder. Or, staying home in fear of running into him. I want to be free. I want to be happy. Doesn't everyone? 

Talk to me soon. xo