Sunday, February 21, 2010

I've got Xanax and I'm not afraid to use it!

If you're reading this, I'm assuming you're caught up on what happeded on Tuesday. If not, you need to read the "How I spent my Tuesday" blog first.

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, nothing happened. So, I assumed the battery fixed all the issues. Well, I was wrong. On Saturday, I went to work and when I got off at midnight, I went out to my car. It's lit up like the Fourth of July inside there again. The outside lights were not doing anything, they weren't on, or flashing, just the inside. Now, bear in mind that it's about 12:15 a.m. at this point and of course Scott and Mom are asleep. So, I just stand there for a bit and contemplate getting in and starting the thing. Even though I'm a baby and I was scared, I didn't want to bother anyone that late and so I just sucked it up and got in. Even though the outside lights were not on or flashing, I checked to see if the switch for them was on, it wasn't. So, when started the car thinking that everyone has a time to go and if that was mine, so be it. It wasn't. The car didn't blow up, it worked just fine and as soon as I started the car, the interior lights went out. I called Scott on Sunday on my way to work and asked him about this, he said he had no idea and that it sounded electrical and that maybe I needed to talk to Gary, a family friend and the head man at the body shop that I take all my cars after I have wrecked them. Yes, it happens a lot. This is my 13th car! Judge not, lest ye be judged! Only like one or two of them were my fault and those were in the beginning and didn't even really do a lot of damage. I did have one car Senior year of high school that I had like 10 or 12 wrecks in before it was finally totally demolished. The safe driver discount I see on my car insurance statement makes me giggle each time I see it!

Sorry, I tend to get off track! Back to the story, I know you are on the edge of your seat for what happens next.

Last night, I got off around 9. I went out to leave, I started walking to the car. Same thing happened. My car was putting on a light show for everyone to see. The only difference was that it was the exterior lights were flashing and going nuts. The interior lights were behaving themselves and staying off. So, at this point, I'm ready to give up on this car. I assumed it wasn't going to blow up, so I got in and checked the light switch, sure enough, it's off. The emergency lights button was off too, so that wasn't it.

I left work and called Gary. I was on my way home, got to my complex, drove in and as I was driving back to my street, the power steering went out. Luckily, I am on the end, and I only have about 8 feet or so of a front yard between the road and my dirveway. Now, I am a big girl, but apparently, I am not very strong. I was able to turn the wheel just enough to go into my driveway, but then I was not able to get it to straighten out So, I ran into the curb that lines my driveway. I was in my driveway, the car was almost completely out of the street and it was at an angle, so I just turned off the car. No, it did not dawn on my to put on the brake when I realized that I was not going to be able to turn into the driveway.

I got up this morning, went out to leave and it looked like a drunk had parked my car, but I had a solid excuse. I started the car, expecting it either to not work, blow up or lift off into the air at this point, really, it could do anything and it would not surprise me. It worked just like nothing had ever happened. So, that is the end of my story. appreciate it. Maybe I should learn all this myself. Know of anyplace a girl can take night classes on cars?

Well, that's For now...I'm sure there will be more.

How I spent my Tuesday night

So, last night, I went to Carson's baseball game, I had ran a couple of errands first and then Thomas called me and asked if I was coming to the game, so I went on over to the ball field. In case you don't know, they are my nephews. Of course Carson's team won, and after the game they have their team meeting. I went to leave, walked to my car and (surprise!) my car wouldn't start. I had not left on the lights, it just wouldn't start. Kooky, huh? Well, it had happened once before around six weeks ago, so not all that strange to me.

I was called to have someone come boost me off; they said it'd be at least an hour or more. So, I proceeded to wait. I don't do well in the heat, and I'm sitting in my car thinking I'm about to die from it. Then, it dawns on me to open my door. Yes, it was a blonde evening. Then, I get the bright idea to try and figure out what the problem is myself.

I found the hood thingy that pops open the lid (or so I thought!) I walked around to the front and it's stuck on something. There I am, on the ground, trying to look into that two inch space between the hood and the other part of my car and I see that it's stuck on something. I kept trying to push the two pieces apart that were sticking together. Yes, this is natural, I found a little lever/button thing and when I pushed that, the hood lifted. In case you're wondering, I personally don't do a lot of maintenance on my car. Scratch that, I don't do any! I put the gas in, isn't that enough?! My good friends at Fisher and Neubert's do the rest.

I digress, back to the story. I get the lid up, I'm holding it with one hand (it is heavy) and I'm trying to figure out where the pole to hold it up sticks into. At this point, my hands and arms are covered in grease and oil and whatever else is inside my car. I can't get the pole to stand up straight and hold up the hood, it keeps slipping. I couldn't find the hole it fits into. At this point, I'm finished. I had decided to just wait on the cavalry (Fountain City Wrecker) to come and do the job.

At this point, the team meeting is over and I hear them coming down the path. I figured I would just get back in my car to wait. I was putting the pole back down into it's brackets and I hear my brother-in-law asking "What'd you do" So, I told him what was going on. He said he'd go home, get his truck and come back to jump me off. I told him that he didn't have to do that, I'd called a wrecker and they'd be there in a bit. He proceeded to call and cancel the wrecker. So, all of the team dad's were standing around trying to figure out the best way to get my car started. One of them had jumper cables, so he jumped my car. Scott got into the car with me to go to Advance and buy a battery if I needed one after that jump-start. Problem solved, right? Wrong!

I started to drive out of the ball field and I curve around to go to the one exit in the place. As I'm driving back down the hill, the car dies again. When the power goes, so does the power steering! So, I have to make a right turn to get out of this place. My car is dead and I can hardly turn the wheel. There is just enough room for one car to drive through this exit. On one side is a thick metal fence, cemented into the ground. On the other side, is a drop of at least 20 feet. Here I am, in my 13th car, trying to turn the wheel, Scott's telling me to turn it into the exit and I can't get it to turn. I just knew I was going down that embankment, but I guess it's about time for number 14. But, Scott proceeded to yank the wheel from the passenger seat and get me through the gate and coasting over to the side of the exit so other cars may pass.

My sister was supposed to be behind us, following us to Advance. She decided to go out the entrance instead of waiting to go through the one spot you're supposed to go through. So, needless to say, we were stuck. I tried to call my sister and my nephew but neither answered. Scott started to walk home and get his truck but then he got on his phone and called the other coach to come back and help. Then I got the brilliant idea that maybe if I sent Thomas a text, he'd answer that. So, I sent a quick brief explanation, my text was simply "Help!" To that, he responded, but with another text (that I didn't even see until about an hour later after I was safely home.)

So, I'm standing on the side of the road, my car still with no life. The keys in my hands and at this point, it's getting dark. I'm kind of pacing back and forth, just waiting and I realize that there is light coming from my car. I just saw a flash of it, so I turned back around and my car is doing some freaky things. The dome light is flashing off and on. I'm thinking, if my battery is dead, should the lights be working? But, as you've figured out at this point, I'm sure, I know nothing about cars! So, I think it's strange, but Scott's down at the end of the drive looking for our new cavalry to come. The light stopped doing this after about a minute so I didn't think anything about it again.

So, Rodney (the cavalry) comes and pulls up next to my car. Scott tells me they are going to hook the cables to the cars and for me to get in and start the thing. I turn around and it looks like the fourth of July inside the car. The thing is all lit up, it's flashing and it's the strangest thing. At this point, I think I should have opted for the 20 foot drop off, because surely I could have opened the door and rolled to safety before my car plunged to its death, right? Scott and Rodney are just standing there talking and they realize I haven't gotten in, so they tell me to start the car. I had one word for them. Seriously?!

I point out what the car's doing on the inside and they said it was just because the keys were in it and it's getting power from Rodney's truck. Then I showed them the keys in my hand. They look at each other and say "huh, that's weird." So, I'm freaked out thinking that the car is going to explode when I start it. I'm literally shaking. Scott's telling me not to worry, but they both did at least say it was strange. I start my car, it didn't blow up, and I'm letting it soak up the power of those magic cords. It sits for a few minutes and they said it was fine and we're back off to Advance. Scott gets in, we put on our seat belts and I'm still, quite visibly, freaked out. Scott offered to drive, to which I immediately agreed.

He gets in and we take off. He's doing something strange. He's gunning down on the gas pedal at the same time he puts the brake on. He told me what he was doing, but I don't remember what he said. We then realize that Advance is closed by now, it's after 9. But, never fear, Auto Zone is open until 10. So, we're off to the Zone. We pull into the parking lot, my sister's sitting there in her car, she's called my Mom and she's came along too.

As Scott pulls into the parking spot...wait for it...yes, it died again. We go inside and he tells the counter guy we need to check the battery. We had to wait a minute because the outside guy is doing something to someone else's car in the parking lot. When it comes our turn, the counter guy tells the outside guy we need our battery checked. His response? I'm paraphrasing here, but essentially he said the checker thing was dead because no one plugged it in last night. No, I'm not kidding.

The counter guy gets a longer cord or something, but somehow, it worked and the outside guy is telling me that it's so strange; a Honda battery should last at least 7 or 8 years and mine is only 3 years old. At this point, I don't care about semantics. Just tell me what I need to buy to get this thing running because, I'm still greasy and oily and I want to go home! So, we go back inside and he's telling me the merits of one battery versus another one. Again, I tell him that I don't care. Just tell me which one to buy. Now, I'm still being polite, I'm just telling him that I don't really want to know the difference, just please ring one of them up.

He does and it took him a while, but he finally figured out how to get the thing into my car and to make it work. I drove home, took a shower and went to bed. I woke up this morning, got ready and went out to start the car to go to work. Guess what? It actually started. So, I guess my car trials and tribulations are over for a bit...a girl can dream, can't she?

Does this shirt bring out the green in my...hair?

Yes, I said hair. It's green again. Now, some of you might be saying, again?! Yes, during the summer of 1987 the Sun-In Incident occurred. Remember that stuff? My hair was already blonde, but no, I needed it to be Platinum. So, I proceeded to drown it in Sun-In while hanging out at the pool. What I didn't realize was that the Sun-In mixed with all that chlorine would turn my shade a lovely green instead of platinum.

If you've been keeping up with my sporadic blog, you'll remember the "Flair" incident I last wrote about. I went back and they put some blonde highlights in it to try to take the mouse out of it. Well it worked for a bit, but now the blonde is starting to come out since the brown is fading. But, what a shock here, it's not fading evenly. So, it's brown, blonde and green in some places. The only thing I can come up with is that the brown color they put on my hair mixed with something else has caused the green color to shine on through. So, let your freak flag fly people. Band together with me, my green hair and all the other crazies of the world!

Go ahead, try to pinch me on St. Patrick's Day...I dare you!

Bad Hair Week?

Ok, so I went to a different salon than I normally go to. Let's just call it Flair. I asked the lady (whose hands reeked of cigarette smoke) to put a full color on my hair and make it a dark blonde. I told her specifically that I did not want it to be a medium, dark or even a very light brown. She said no problem, she would make it look great.

Well, needless to say, when she washed my hair and began to dry it, I almost started crying. It's about as brown as a Hershey Bar! It looks terrible!!! About halfway through the blow dry, the minion she asked to dry my hair asked how I liked it and I lost it! I told her I hated it and my eyes started watering. So, now I'm sitting in "Flair" in Fountain City and I'm blubbering like an idiot. I knew better than to cheat on my regular colorist! The cigarette smelling lady came back over and proclaimed that it's exactly the color I asked for. I looked at her like she was crazy and advised her that Chocolate Brown is NOT Dark Blonde. She proceeded to explain to me that it's exactly what it was. I would have complained to the manager, but guess what?! She's the owner!!!

So, I have an appointment this weekend to fix the terrible mess that is on my head. I've cried so much, I just can't anymore. Anyone know where a girl can find a good turban in Knoxville?

It just proves my point further. When you find a good colorist, don't cheat on him. I know you'll never see this, but Kippy, I'm very sorry, you have a big mess to clean up.

Holiday Spirit

Hello everyone! So, it's been quite a while since I have left a little bit of wisdom (ha) here for you to read. So, I thought I would drop by and say hello.

I hope you all had a great Christmas. I was able to see family and friends, as I hope you were. I had a great little reunion last week with some of my best friends from high school. There was a whole group of us that grew up together and we have mostly since parted ways. We still speak occasionally, but not enough. Anyway, I had dinner with three wonderful ladies last Friday night. It was awesome to sit there and catch up on their world.

Isn't it funny how life happens? When I was 16, I thought I would always be best friends with these girls. There were some transient members who came and went, but for the most part, there was always the core group. They were the best group of friends I could have ever asked for. But, like the song goes, "life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."

So, I guess the moral of today's lesson is that you should reach out to someone you haven't talked to in a while. If you don't know how to reach them, try the phone book. It's funny how most everyone's parents still live in the same place. Or, you just might find who you're looking for right there in the book.

Ok, I'm done. Ladies, you know who you are, thank you for an amazing night and I hope a rekindled friendship!

I can't sleep

So, I am awake and I'm not very happy about that. Don't get me wrong, if I was doing something fun it would be different. Instead, I am sitting in my bed, wide awake. I have to get up early tomorrow, so I really wish I was asleep!! I get crabby when I am sleepy in the mornings!

Since I'm awake, why not make the best of my time? I'm trying to catch up on some things that I recorded this week. The DVR was the single most important of consumer inventions in the last decade, imho. It has made me quite lazy and dependant! I have no idea what day or channel that Chuck (or any of my latest obsessions) comes on, but I know that whenever it does come on, it will record. It's fabulous. If you don't have one, I highly advocate your aquiring one.

Speaking of Chuck, it's kind of a silly premise, all of the government's top secrets downloading into a man's brain through an e-mail. But, he's saving the world at $11 an hour, or so he claims.

As you may have figured out, I ramble. I talk and talk about completely pointless subjects and try to engage in witty persiflage with pretty much anyone. But, I can be annoying, as I am sure you have figured out by now. So, I have to engage myself and my anonymous audience.

I hope I have entertained you at least a bit. If not, check back, maybe next time you will enjoy yourself a bit more. Talk to me soon!

Summer Roberts

Ok, so unless you have lived under a rock, you have probably heard of The OC. Even more likely, you have probably watched at least a little bit of an episode or two. That being said, I was totally hooked. Granted, I didn't start to watch until year 3, so I had a bit to catch up on, but I still got hooked eventually. As I am sure you have noticed, I have a soft spot for prime time soapy type shows. Yes, I know, I am way too old to be watching this on a regular basis, but at least I admit that I like bad TV...that counts for something, doesn't it?!

Ok, back to the point. Summer Roberts was Rachel Bilson's character on the show. Knowing that I may be out for a bit due to the tests I had ran, I took the liberty of tivo-ing (yes, I made up that word) the Summer Spice Marathon on the Soap Channel. It was seven back-to-back episodes that were filled with Summer at her finest. I started watching the marathon a few days ago. I did not have the energy to watch them all at once. But, I did watch three of them yesterday and I drifted off to sleep watching the final episode. Dude, I had some strange dreams!

I had this really crazy dream where Summer and I were both at Brown and Che had already lured her into that political era where she didn't keep up with her hygene. So, Che had worked his magic on me as well and she and I were in competition for him. Why, I am not sure, it was Che. Anyway, we kept switching back and forth between scenes from various points in the four-year drama that really didn't go in sequence. But, for the most part it was me against Summer. I'm not sure who eventually won, but if you watched, it was kind of like when Summer and Anna were in direct competition for Seth. So, it was just all really strange.

Speaking of Anna, what was she thinking when she showed up to Brown?! Not that she didn't have a right to be there. I'm talking, of course, about the terrible hair extensions that she had in her hair. I really hope she has a better stylist for this new show she is on the in fall.

Alright, I'm finished with my pointless ramble for right now. Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll have more to say one day soon...until then, happy reading!